Zain K.

Are we really that important?

June 17, 2021

In short, No. We all have an extremely heightened sense of self worth which makes us believe the world is concerned about us.

The world doesn’t work like that. If you die today, the only ones to whom you would actually matter to would be your immediate family. Your extended family whom you often make it a obligation to meet on certain holiday events would come to know of it only after someone calls them up and informs them. Everyone is busy in their lives. Some of your relatives might find it a little ‘inconvenient’ attending your funeral and would wish you had chosen a little more convenient day to die, maybe on a weekend.

Your friends on the social media would take months and some even years to realize that they aren’t seeing you on their news feed anymore. If your profile isn’t removed from facebook or given the status of ‘passed away’, your ‘friends’ would continue to wish you happy birthdays ever year. I have seen such profiles and it won’t take you long to find one too.

The people for whom we post daily updates are only there for you as long as you are there for them. Don’t get me wrong. I am not talking about your closest of close circle of friends (who cannot be more than you can count on one hand). It is the vast majority of ‘friends’ and family I am talking about. For them, you are someone they either met somewhere years ago or happen to be related to somehow (read: via blood relation).

When you die, no one is going to stop living their life just because you passed away. Some may feel more depressed than others but no one is going to give up on living. There are exceptions to everything and to this too. But the point is, time heals everything-no wound is deep enough.

Your friends will find other friends to hang out with. Your extended family might miss you on certain occasions but not more than that. The only people who are going to miss you in reality are the people you live with. They are your parents, spouse, siblings and children period.

If there is one take away from this, it is to stop trying to carve out time to increasing your social circle. Hang onto the friends you have and develop deeper bonds. And it goes without saying that your family, I mean the real family, is all that you have and will ever have.

You live once, don’t spoil your life trying to chase what others before you have tried to chase. Live your life in a meaningful way. A way in which you affect real lives. The lives of your family should remain your top-most priority always.

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